'Hiss, you're never around when I need you!'

These words were spoken in the Disney version of Robin Hood, by King John (as a lion) to his faithful, under-appreciated servant, Sir Hiss (a snake). After banishing Sir Hiss, King John proceeds to fall for a trap set by Robin Hood and Little John, a fox and a bear respectively, who are disguised as gypsies. He then screams this to Hiss, who warned the king of the gypsies all along. I must admit, I think of this scene whenever anyone 'told me so.' This week, Colin 'told me so' twice, which is a lot given the fact that I haven't even talked to the kid. First, when I thought my fingernail might not fall off after the whole slamming it in the truck door thing, he said, 'It's early yet.' Sure enough, I think I am going to leave that fingernail in England. Yuck. (Lyndsey told me so on that one too, by the way.) Second, he told me my jeans were cooler after the caves when I complained they had been ruined by the rips and tears they had picked up. I wore them yesterday, and they got a bit ripped in Sherwood Forest, and decided he was right. Here I am in Sherwood Forest. Look at how crazy these trees are! The big one is Major Oak, where the Merry Men camped out. After Sherwood Forest, I hopped on a local bus that goes through the countryside. D.H. Lawrence and Lord Byron are from towns nearby, which the bus drove through. Perhaps if I continue to stick around I will begin to write racy literature about repressed people that will inspire vampire legend. Hmmm, doesn't sound like a bad career, on second thought.

What's the Secret Password?

Yesterday I saw the Galleries of Justice. When you go in, they assign you a prisoner number, and you have to look through the exhibit for your sentencing and then they carry it out on you. I was a farmer's daughter in the 17th century, 'ruined' by a traveler, who then ran away to become a highway robber. Sounds just like me, right? The punishment? Lots of laundry duty and then hanging. Yuck. The castle was pretty good too. The Robin Hood statue is outside of the castle. However, the most interesting and weirdest thing I have seen are these eye signs they have all around the city. Some times they are big, sometimes small, some in tile, some in metal, some in stone, some in chalk, some on the sidewalk, some on buildings. No one seems to know what they mean- or they won't tell me. Is there a secret society here in Nott'm? The owner of my B & B is a really funny guy who didn't mind telling me that, 'Your president seems rather stupid, huh? That's embarrassing. Bill Clinton seems like an excellent chap; shame he couldn't keep his pecker in his pants. We also like Hillary. She could have been the American Margaret Thatcher, in a good way.' Then he went on about how he hates that you can't have just one remote control for everything in the house (amen!) and about Wal-Mart. When I told him about Sam's Club, he seemed to go green with envy. Today I am off to Sherwood Forest and the real hiding grounds of Robin Hood. I put ribbons in my hair so they would know I was Maid Marion- or perhaps (for those of you who, like me, watch the new Robin Hood series on BBC America) the Night Watchman. Hey, that sounds a lot like highway robber. Maybe those guys at the Galleries of Justice knew what they were talking about!

...To Feed the Poor

I didn't know it, but apparently Nottingham is a shopping hotspot in the UK. Two other girls staying in my B&B have come from Norfolk for a couple of days just to shop. I saw them at breakfast this morning. The breakfast was super yummy, I am so happy it is included. Speaking of included, I was completely upgraded with my Nott'm room. It seems that a stag party (bachelor party) is staying at the inn this weekend. They all wanted to be on the same floor, and the owner, a sweet little man named Andy, didn't want them staying in the nice upstairs apartment, so I got up graded to that. It includes a living area, en suite bathroom, and kitchen- with a washer! No dryer though, so now my underwear is hanging from a line in the kitchen. Today I am off to Nott'm Castle and the Galleries of Justice, which shows all the ways they used to torture someone back in the day. I talked to my friend Jo, who lives in Birmingham, last night. I may get to meet up with her, but she just had her first baby about two weeks ago, and she sounds SO tired. It seems he is quite a crier. Even if we don't meet up, I hope to get a chance to talk to her a couple of times while I'm here. Oh, and here is Andy, the B&B owner.

The Robbing of the Rich (Tourists)...

Today I arrived in Nottingham. The first picture here is of a bomb under Nottingham, in their sun stone caves. The caves have been used over hundreds of years for various purposes, such as housing for poor people, as a tannery, as a jail, and as a bomb shelter during WWII when Nott'm was heavily bombed. This bomb made it all the way into the caves. They swear it is inactive, but we were not allowed to touch it or throw anything at it (or even look at it too hard)! The second picture is of a pub in town which is supposedly the oldest in Brittain- it served the crusaders as they went off to war. I ate dinner there- a yummy hamburger- before I remembered about mad cow disease. So if I start acting weird when I come home, this may be why. It is expensive here, but thankfully, cokes aren't as much as they used to be. And here is the best part- Coke Zero is EVERYWHERE! In every store, in every machine, at pubs sometimes, etc. I commented to someone about how that was great and how that was not the case at home (that we mostly still had Diet Coke everywhere), to which the person looked at me like I was completely crazy and asked, 'Well, if you could have Coke Zero, why would you keep Diet Coke?' Why, indeed.

Ready, Set, Go!

After a rush to see projects completed at work, saying goodbye to two friends who are moving, and taking my first ChFC test (and passing, thank you very much!), I am ready for 'holiday'. My flight was ok, except for Super Annoying '...the eighth time I went to Bali'...Blah Blah Blah Guy who sat behind me. I sat next to a Scottsman who is now American and was returning home for his father's funeral. Despite being sad, this guy was awesome. His job is to travel the world to 'discover' drugs to bring back to America for testing, and he was super proud of his son, who decided this year to chuck his big man on campus, soccer star, somewhat toolish existence at Pitt to go to South Africa and take care of orphans with AIDS. Very cool. N ow I am in Manchester, a very industrious town, where I had a very yummy meal and watched the endless rain outside. Tomorrow, I head to Nottingham to meet up with Robin Hood, or maybe yummy Guy of Gisbon.

Final Jeopardy

Here is my friend Melissa. Melissa is a photographer and professional crepe maker. Also, she is a REALLY good trivia player. We play trivia almost every week at Andyman's Tree House at Team Tim Trivia. With Melissa's artistic and entertainment knowledge, her husband Cory's historical and political knowledge, Marissa's medical background, and my ability to...write things down (?) we are pretty unbeatable-except for last week. None of us won at all last week. Either the trivia is getting 12% harder, or we are getting 10% dumber. I think the trivia is getting harder.

The Wizard of Oz

This week I went hot air ballooning. I have wanted to go for a long time, but around the beginning of the year, I decided to make it happen. It took about nine reschedules to actually go on the ride, but it was worth it. I went with Fly Ohio Ballooning in Marysvillle, OH. Here are pictures of my hot air balloon's shadow from the air and my friend Colin and I in the hot air balloon, hundreds of feet above the earth.

Colorful Sharpshooting

This week I went paintballing with some friends. It was really hot out, especially with our masks on, but it was something new and fun to do. I went with Emily and Jayme, my friends who are getting married in a couple of months, Ricky and Rebecca, who have the coolest backyard garden I've ever seen, Devin, whose alter ego C-Bag sometimes comes out to play, and Marissa, the sweetest little dentist/sharpshooter you will ever meet. The picture shows everyone pointing to their worst paintball wound.

Republican Trucker

Here is "my" truck. Ok, really it belongs to my friends Stephanie and Michael, who moved to Pensacola in January. For some reason, they didn't really want this gem of a truck. From the early 1990s, this truck is everything a truck should be- a cracked windshield, matte paint, a ripped out radio, and a touch and go ability to make it above 65 mph. While I had learned the mechanics of stick shift driving before, it was really this truck that made it possible. I love this truck. I am pretty sure it makes me 7% cooler, and probably 5.6% more Republican.