Apples to Apples?

A thousand years ago, I completed all of the course work required for my masters, and then left the paper work up to someone else. That resulted in perhaps the best lession from all of grad school- don't trust other people. I found out six months ago or so that the paper work was messed up, so I filed it correctly, and because of that, I "graduated" in June. Ridiculous? Of course. A reason for gathering? Most certainly. I invited Shawn, Jason, his BF Kiel, Angela, Chris, Shannon, Colin, his GF Jess, Marissa, Angela (yup, two Angelas), and Devin over for games, cupcakes, and drinks. Unfortunate stories were relayed, much alcohol was consumed, Taboos were revealed, and a porch was christened, so to speak. Linda has been waiting for the gathering for months, but not because she could be here. Linda was convinced that the world would implode if Colin and Shawn were ever to meet. That is because they are strangely similar, and yet completely different. Matter to anti-matter, Superman to Batman, bizarro versions of one another. So they met, and yet here we are, the world just as it was the day before. So are they Apples to Apples? Not really, but I loved playing the game.

Who's Your Grandma?

I went to Popcorn Pops, an outdoor music concert, this past Friday, with Shawn, several friends from work, and their families. It was great weather and fun music and nice food and drinks. Shawn and I brought a barrel of laughs, otherwise known as a barrel of wine. The kids targeted Shawn and myself, and the next thing I knew, we were playing tag. Lucie, my friend Amy's first daughter, fell in love with Shawn (is there a female around these days that isn't in love with him?). She told Shawn that he was her boyfriend and Shawn told her that I might be jealous. So then she started to taunt me, "Jealous? Are you jealous?" Later, she asked me, "Whose mom are you?" When I told her I was no one's mom, she asked, "Are you some one's grandma?" WHAT?! I was horrified by thought that Shawn will run away with Lucie in 20 years and I am going to tied to a walker with tennis ball feet. We actually had a great time with the kids, but when Shawn and I got home, we were tired, worn out, and a little broken. Maybe I am someone's grandma....

Boom Boom Pow

This weekend was the Fourth of July of course, and Shawn and I mostly just enjoyed the nice weather and the days off. I didn't have any statehouse tours or work. We grilled lots of food, drank lots of beer, picked raspberries and made yummy food with them, and watched lots of Supernatural. We lazed around and watched the Doo Dah Parade. It is an odd parade, full of the clever and witty fringes of society, a rag tag group of activists prepared to look ridiculous for the masses. Shawn took some pictures of a great photographs of me playing with sparklers. It was a great summer weekend.

Flashback

This past weekend was Com Fest. Com Fest is fun, but also kind of a nightmare. Fair food, dozens of artists selling their wares, bands, lots of alcohol, tons of pot, and hippies as far as the eye can see. I think Shawn was shocked at how many people were in the neighborhood (and subsequently, how far away he had to park.) We hung out on the porch, drank beer, and Shawn took a couple of photos. They turned out pretty neat, sort of like acid flashbacks. Which is apropos, considering the crowd.

Festival of Fools

Ever since I have gotten back from Africa, it has been festival fever around Columbus. Two weeks ago was the arts festival, this weekend is Pride, next weekend is ComFest, the week after is Red White and Boom, and the Ohio State Fair is just on the horizon. Shawn and I have been planning some upcoming mini-vacays, enjoying motorcycle rides, lounging on my awesome porch, scrapbooking my Africa trip, and loving summer the way that I have noticed only people in the midwest are able to.

Home Sweet Home

Here are some pics from the David Sheldrick Elephant and Rhino Orphanage. These little guys don't have parents. There are about 20 baby elephants there and 1 baby rhino. I played with the elephants and asked their trainers questions. The trainers even sleep with the elephants, who wake them up every three hours for more milk. The baby rhino was just like a real baby, so tired it curled up with a blanket when it got into his stall. On the way back, I got caught in Nairobi traffic. Imagine a city of 4 million with no lanes, no traffic signals, no highways, and no street signs. Plus, lots of roundabouts. What a nightmare! I have had a great time, but am ready to go home. Asante sana, Africa (that means thank you very much)!

Rebound

Phew, I am feeling a little bit better about things. I have figured out how to get out of Zanzibar (read: I figured out the right person to yell at and the right person to bribe.) Oh, well, all part of the adventure. After a very cool day at the spice plantations yesterday, I had the mishap with my schedule, as I wrote about yesterday. So it was a mixed day. Last night, another woman who is here by herself asked me to eat dinner with her. We had drinks, and things felt a lot better. Oxana is a Russian dancer, and she moonlights as a lawyer. Very cool. She was tons of fun, and I woke up feeling better today. Also, thank god for BF. What would I do without him? Not only has he helped with my kitten but he helped figure out my mess with my flight. I needed access to the internet to figure things out. It was not working, so the people who worked at the hotel called their IT person. After fixing my computer, he proceeded to sit down at a computer where everything was in French right across from me and look up porn. Nice. Visiting the spice plantation yesterday was pretty neat. I saw dozens of spices and plants and coffee and tea being grown, and a boy climbed the tallest coconut tree I have ever seen while singing a song and cut me down a coconut. Then he cut it open and gave me a straw, and I drank the insides. Then he made a spoon out of the shell and I ate parts of the insides. Tomorrow- VERY EARLY-I leave for Nairobi, to the elephant orphanage. I hope my camera works for that!

The Dark Continent

Hmmm...I have mixed feelings about this part of my trip. Zanzibar is a beautiful place, and the hotel I am in is very nice- right on the beach. However, I am a little tired of everyone looking for a tip (it has been this way most of the trip, but I am kind of over it now). I try to remind myself that this is their livelihood and they are very poor, but it is getting harder to remember. Meanwhile, the company who has been contracted to organize this part of the trip can't find when my flight out is, and now they want me to pay extra money for "additional tax." I can't tell if this is corruption or miscommunication. Also, money is weird in Africa. I complained to many before I left that it is not clear how you are supposed to get it. I brought credit cards because books said they would be good, but they aren't. They said not to bring a lot of money, so I didn't, but many things have been expensive. They said I could access ATM, but many won't take my card, and then with one that did, a nice man with a machine gun came up to me and told you NOT to use this ATM. I don't need to be told twice! My camera is broken on some days (but curiously not others) so I have half of my trip documented. I am sure it will all work out, but I have to tell you, a good part of me just wants to come home right now.

Hakuna Matata- It Means No Worries

Before coming to Africa, I tried to rationalize things. I am here during low season, but it is so expensive to go during high season, I took a gamble. I thought, even if I see no animals, I will still be in Africa, so it will be ok. Having seen all of the animals that I have, it seems like a crazy worry. We saw wildebeast as far as the eye can see, and dozen of zebra at a time. I saw so many elephants! On my last day of safari, on our way out of the last park, we saw three elephants aruond an elephant that had died during the night. It was so sad. They touched the dead one with their trunks, and tried and tried to push the fallen one up. The day before, I saw elephants playing in the mud- rolling around in it. About five of them, splashing around like a family at a waterpark. As I was leaving the safari part of my trip, I thought about how I have never seen animals as happy or sad or alive as I had in the past two weeks. The zoo will never be the same. Speaking of the zoo, I told our Kenyan tour guide, Amos, about how at the zoo in Columbus they have a new baby elephant and it is on display for two hours a day and people wait in very long lines, sometimes more than an hour, to see it. He made me tell him the story three times because he thought it was so absurd that he must have heard me wrong. We probably saw and average of five babies a day here. Why did I worry? Hakuna Matata!

Out of Africa

Were you worried about me? Don't be! I am having a great time in Africa. Our first stop, the Maasai Mara, was wonderful. We saw a leopard eating it's kill in a tree, and went on a lion hunt. I went to a Maasai Village, and it was facinating. Then we went to Lake Nakuru, where there was the elusive black rhino and flamingos as far as the eye can see. Then we traveled to several sites from Out of Africa, and we were able to see tons of hippos. They even put on a show fr us- although I think they thought they were fighting. Then we went to Amboseli, where there were so many lions I felt like I was in the Lion King, and so many elephants, I wanted to stay forever. It was a desert (dessert?) right beside marsh land- so weird! Then I crossed over into Tanzania. We went to Lake Manyara, where a monkey tried to get in the truck with us. Then we headed to the famous Serengeti, where there were even more elephants. I saw a herd of over 40. A male elephant tried to sneak in to mate with a young female. The matriarch of the group got really pissed, pushed him off the female, and ran that player right out of town. What a sight. Now we are in Ngorongoro Carter. They place we are staying is 9000 feet above sea level with one of the most beautiful views I have ever seen. The people on my tour are pretty cool. There is a Dutch couple; the woman is an African travel agent, so we have all been getting the best treatment. There is also a mother daughter pair- both widows. The mother is 89 years old! Well, that is all for now. I miss you all.

On Safari

Tomorrow I leave for Africa. After 12 vaccinations, weeks of packing, troubles with booking the trip, and lots of pleas to stick around for yet another ground breaking project at work, I am ready to go. I will fly from Columbus to Detroit, Detroit to Amsterdam (for a quick smoke), and then from Amsterdam to Nairobi. It will take over 24 hours to get there. Good thing I have lots of reading materials! This map shows where I will be. Cross your fingers for me. If emergencies come up, text me, but otherwise, check here. I think I will get a chance to blog along the way- I hope so! Post comments if you can, I love reading them. Safari means "journey" in one of the East African tribal languages, and I am ready (given lots of sunscreen and bug spray).

Pig In a Blanket?

This week Angela, Chris, Shawn and I went over to our friend Shannon’s for a dinner party. It was a feast. Salmon and black rice and asparagus and bread and Sugardaddy’s and Jeni’s for dessert. Shawn and I could barely roll ourselves home. Well, I believe I was punished. Through no fault to the food, I felt awful for the rest of the week. To make things even scarier, swine flu is taking over the world. So there I sat on my couch hoping I was no patient zero here in Franklin County. Why did I give tours to so many people at the statehouse? Could one of those grubby kids have infected me? I asked BF if he thought I had swine flu, and he said, “Probably not.” He couldn’t have just said no?! My biggest worry is that Africa will not let me in because of the swine flu scare. Can you imagine, after all those vaccinations, that they might not let me in because of swine flu?

She Shoots, She Scores

This week the Customer Insights and Analytics team had an off-site meeting. For those of you who know me at all, you know this is not my kind of gig. I hated field day back in the day. And I hate anything that might be considered to be corporate team-building. I think it is a plot to take over the world. Anyway, this kind of combined both. I participated in whatever events I could and cheered on my team- the High Fives- as best I could. My team thought we did ok- until we came in last.  Oh well, the event benefited Operation Feed, which was the only part I liked. Afterwards, I got the coveted Puck Award. I always said that the day I received the Puck Award was the day I would retire. This throws my whole retirement plan out of whack….

My Deadly Sins Come to Light

This weekend, Linda came to visit. Things are falling apart all around Linda, and yet, she still managed some quality scrapping, Roswell Watching, and of course, eating. We barely managed to get out of the house. I think even BF was surprised at my degree of sloth and gluttony. Here are all the things we ate that weekend- well, we didn’t get through everything. It seems our old age has caught up with us. We didn’t get through all the TV we wanted to (one episode left to finish both seasons!) or all of the food (probably for the best), but here’s hoping for next time. Admit it, whoever you are reading this, while you are disgusted with all this food, you are also impressed.

Square Peg, Round Hole

This weekend BF and I went to Rockford, where his mom’s family lives. I met lots of new people, and we ate lots of yummy food. All the kids in his family helped, with chef’s hats and apron and everything, even coming up with conversation starters. Somewhere along the line, it became clear to me that I was sitting with members of a whole different species- very conservative Republicans. BF is a very optimistic kind of guy, but sometimes I wish he would give me a heads up on things like the SEVEN hours its takes to get to Rockford, or that I would be such a fish out of water at family dinner. Oh well, we survived. The Easter Bunny even found me on Sunday morning- and that guy hasn’t found me in years!

The Columbus Zoo

This week a brand new baby elephant went on display at the Columbus zoo. He was born last week in the middle of the day- he just kind of popped into the world. At only 290 lbs, he was actually small for a baby elephant, and I cannot wait to see him. I didn't get to the Columbus Zoo this weekend, but I did get to a petting zoo. On Saturday, BF and I went to the house of a friend of his. It was a very nice time, and I like to meet new people, but it was crazy over there. His friends have two St Bernards, a basset hound, a bunny, three cats, two guinea pigs, a chinchilla, and a turtle. Whoa! I felt like I was covered head to toe with dog slobber. I was not prepared, and later I thought, maybe we should have gone to the zoo this weekend- it may have been less crowded. At the end of the evening, BF and I sat on the couch and he said, "That was fun." After I agreed, he waited a couple of minutes and said, "There was a hairball in my beer." To which I replied, "There was hair in my lasagna." It is good to meet new people, but I think next time, we should all go out to eat.

The Most Stressful Spring Break Ever

A week and a half ago, BF surprised me with a trip to Florida. The whole thing came together in about a minute and a half. It seemed a pretty good plan at first, but then it started to fall apart pretty quickly as well. Suddenly, my parents were coming to Tampa, scheduling was a nightmare and there were so many people in the hotel room it seemed like an old fashioned college spring break to Florida. So I met Shawn's dad and step mom and step brother, Shawn met my parents, and our parents met each other. And the weirdest thing happened. Within a couple of hours, my parents and Shawn's were BFFs and Shawn and I were relegated to the kids table. I know my parents like Shawn, and I think Shawn's parents like me, but I know our parents love each other. After that fiasco, I needed to relax tons- a couple of days of sunshine and beach did the trick. So I left with some interesting memories- and a sunburn.

Took the Chevy to to the Levi...the Good Old Boys Were Drinking Whiskey and Rye

This weekend BF and I went to Bockfest in Cincinnati. It is a beer festival and with it, we toured the Over the Rhine District, the German area of town. We toured old breweries, many of which still have the parts and smells from the breweries. Others are used as storage, been changed into apartments or are partially hidden underground. The picture above shows debris in one of the old breweries, as well as the mascot of Bockfest, the goat. We sampled some good beer and had fun seeing the city. We also went to the Newport Levi, right across the river. We went behind the scenes at the Newport aquarium. We saw tons of fish and sharks and penguins. We even saw this "Harry Otter." That aquarium sure has a sense of humer- first Harry Otter, and then this great sign in the cafeteria. It was good times, which was great, because the weekend was BF's birthday present. We even had some great laughs when the people next door proved what a good time they were having- maybe they were celebrating a special occasional as well, because it sure sounded that way to us.

Totally Tubular

This weekend BF and I went tubing. I have been practically begging to go ever since BF and I first started talking and he mentioned it. In Florida, tubing is an activity that involves a hot summer day, a cool spring river, and a good amount of beer. It seems that in the colder states, tubing requires MANY layers and a certain quantity of hot chocolate. I had a tremendous time, but was freezing when it was over. It seems that after all these years, I am nowhere near a cold weather professional. BF laughed at the clothes I was wearing to go tubing and basically had to dress me for the event. There were no injuries, thankfully. I was a little worried about it when my brother kept showing me YouTube videos of terrible tubing crashes, but I made it through just fine. In fact, there was probably very little chance of that happening. The only people tubing were kids, their parents, and BF and I. Looks like tubing is kind of a kids sport. Maybe next year I will try skiing. At least I'll know a bit more on how to dress for the event.

Safaris Big and Small

This week I went into super planning mode. I needed to figure out my safari, and in the meantime, I am pretty sure I figured out my next career- organizing mid-range travel. I was dealing with two different people, and no step along the way was easy with either of them. Every email led to several follow-ups, every question had a puzzling answer, and nothing added up. I dealt with one person who was short and kind of mean about everything, and another person who had a 10 minute answer for everything in an annoying Texas accent. In the end, everything worked out and my safari is booked. I am going on a 13 day safari to Kenya and Tanzania, including the Serengeti, the Masai Mara area, and the Great Rift Valley, among other places. After that I head to Zanzibar for four days to enjoy the sunshine and the spice plantations. Lastly, I spend a couple of days in Nairobi where I will visit the David Sheldrick Elephant Orphanage. In the meantime, I have the safari that BF got me. For Valentine's Day, he got me an awesome craft- a pipe cleaner savanna. It now sits on my desk at work, and when market share threatens to overwhelm me, I can escape on safari. BF knows me so well!

My Bloody Valentine

This week was Marissa's birthday. It is a way better way celebrate Valentine's Day than the traditional way. We ate junk food and drank lots of the Laura. The Laura is a great drink made from oranges, Fresca, and a good quality vodka. Delicious. We played board games and in general, had a great Valentine's Day. We also have been watching tons of movies trying to get ready for the Oscars. There are so many, and they came out at all the same time. The only way to tackle this problem has been to partake in several double features. We buy a movie ticket for one movie, and after that sneak into another. It has made movie watching an epic affair. I think none of our moods are better for it either. Most of those Oscar movies are downers; it is no wonder BF keeps suggesting we see My Bloody Valentine...in 3-d.

The Republican Bailout

This week was a bit of an adventure. The snow and ice have finally gotten to me. The truck was completely immobile for days, and then when I finally got around to moving it, it got very stuck in the ice in the alley behind my house. The neighbor got all upset and then the truck was towed. When I went down to the city impound lot, I couldn't get my car out of hoc because I still didn't have the license, and therefore, it wasn't registered in my name. It then became a waiting game- waiting for the title, then figuring out which BMV was open and could do what I needed (which was a lot more complicated and time-consuming than I thought), then the huge lines at the BMV, then going to the impound lot and finally getting the truck back. I am now in a false fight with my neighbor, and considerably worried for my truck which still has to contend with lots of ice around Columbus. Good thing I have a couple of things to take my mind of that lame truck and neighbor. This weekend Jason came to town and I saw Coraline, Slumdog Millionaire, the Broadway show Spring Awakening, and the ballet Jazz Moves 2. Coraline was great, even if I can't see in 3D, Slumdog has slipped into my favorite nomination for Best Picture, Spring Awakening was a very good and interesting commentary on repression, and Jazz Moves provided that money spent on Balletmet Columbus is always well spent. Next week I am supposed to continue see the Andy Warhol exhibit. A group of us tried to see it this week but got carried on at dinner and ended up arriving for the exhibit 5 minutes until it closed. It seems that more than anything this week, I need a lesson in timing.

On the Bourbon Trail- Twice Distilled, 60 Proof

This weekend BF and I went to Louisville to see Lyndsey and Zane. We packed quite a bit into the weekend. We went to the Louisville Slugger Museum, saw a comedy show, and went to see Wicked. I also got to see Lyndsey and Zane's new house, which I am completely jealous of. It even has a neat attic that looks like it can be utilized for a variety of purposes. Probably the most fun we had over the weekend was along the Bourbon Trail and at the Maker's Mark Distillery. The tour was great, everything from the talking portraits that actively wink at you to the red wax on everything to the free samples to being able to dip our own bottles. There does seem to be an art to it, as you can see. On the way home, the Bourbon Trail became some kind of version of Groundhog Day. The second time we saw the same gas station we asked directions at from the King of the Hill gang, the third time we saw the Hail Mary Bathtub Statue, and the fiftieth time we saw the same stoplight, I worried that the bourbon had effected us a little bit more than we thought. To be honest, the fact that both BF and Lyndsey insisted on singing along (and even imitating the music) in the car, which drives me a little bit insane, things might have seemed longer than they actually were. However, today I am wishing I was still on the Bourbon Trail. Last night it snowed several inches, then there was an inch of sleet, and then another 6" of snow. At first I thought working at home was a good idea but I am so bored right now I wish I had made my way into work-with the bourbon.

Its Not My First Rodeo

Yesterday was another next exciting experience. I went to the rodeo-yeehaw! When we got there, it turned out that it wasn't just another rodeo. It was part of the new season of reality TV show Toughest Cowboy, where a group of guys compete at the rodeo every week as well as various other activities in order to eventually win a ranch in Montana (or Wyoming, or some such wide open spaces state). These guys are amazing! One competed after getting a concussion last week, one had a broken collar bone, and one had his finger TORN OFF last week and was wearing a cast (pink at that!) to keep everything together. The kid who won for the week broken his ankle at the first event and still managed to pull out a victory. When we saw him at the end (and BF was awesome enough to get fourth row seats so we saw everything up close) he looked white as a sheet and had to hop forward to accept the win. Thank goodness he has immunity for next week! Maybe you can feel it as I do- I think I am being sucked into my first reality TV show. I guess it was my first rodeo after all.

The Apple Orchard

Here is my new and old apple computer. I have had buying a new Apple in my sights for quite some time now, but this week, my old computer died. After some careful contemplation and internet searching (um, I mean productively researching analytics during work hours), I decided on the new MacBook. There was a little bit of delayed gratification involved; my poor other computer was very dead and they had to take a couple of days to transfer all my old stuff onto my new computer. When they were done, I asked them what I should do with my old computer, and they told me that they weren't sure. It seems my computer is so old, it is considered vintage. Nice. It feels like I was living in the past with that computer, and in the future with my new computer. But I am living in the present too. This week was BF's birthday, and I think I did ok in the present department. We will be going to something called BockFest (which is some kind of beerfest) and the aquarium in Cincinnati during a fun weekend away in March for his birthday. Also, my Apple purchase brought a blast from the past into my present and future. With Apple purchases, you get these handy Apple bags, or as Linda and I would call them, Backpack O' Snacks, the handiest snack container for road trips in the world. I guess that means it is time for a road trip!

Frankly, My Dear...

So here is Frankie, my fish. This guy is going strong. For those who remember, I earned him with my ping pong throwing prowess at the Circleville Pumpkin Show. That means I have had him for three months now, which I feel like makes him 1000 in fish years. He seems super orange and perky. Speaking of orange, I have been enjoying my orange and blue Gators lately. I am glad we were able to pull off yet another National Championship. This week's National Championship and last week's Champs Bowl attendance make me realize just how much I miss college football. I may try to make it to a game next year. Heading into the New Year, I decided not to make any New Year's resolutions. Well, that is, given the fact that I was already forced to fulfill the one resolution that I had in mind. I thought I was going resolve to stop using my student id for anything. The world ended up making my decision for me- two weeks ago, as I took my id out to get on the bus, and my picture literally rubbed off. There is now no picture at all on my student id. I figure this means one of two things: the world is either telling me to finally grow up, or that I never should have been a 'professional' student at all. Or maybe both. So I thought I was free. That is, until I went into work this week and learned I have to take a class at OSU for work this quarter. So much for New Year's resolutions.